Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Rocked.

I am completely rocked. From my head to my toes I could not be any more stunned. I had a great 8 mile run yesterday morning and was making my breakfast when I got the call. When the phone rang, I thought, "here's the call I've been waiting for!" The call to confirm that the lump they removed on Friday is, like we thought, nothing. That call did not come. The nurse on the phone said, "You have breast cancer." I almost dropped my eggs. I have never felt more scared, and devestated in my life. Yesterday afternoon was a blur of tears and doctors telling me so much information I will never be able to remember. We left the dr's office numb and confused.

We left with more questions than we came with. Here's what we know: the lump they removed is ductal carcinoma, the most common form of breast cancer. We have no idea what stage or how far it's gotten, if any, because they have yet to test the lymph nodes (because we thought it was nothing). I will definitely need more surgery, whether it's a lumpectomy or a mastectomy and possibly chemo and/or radiation.

It didn't take us very long to decide that we wanted to be in St. Louis at a major breast center up there. So that is what today has been about. Setting up appointments and finding doctors and surgeons that will become our lifeline in the coming days and weeks. We are seeing a breast surgeon for a consultation on Friday morning. She will look at the slides from my biopsy, my ultrasounds, and mammogram, and possibly do more testing of her own. From that she will determine which surgery would be best. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we go forward. Believing that God will take care of me, and He will never give me more than I can handle. I am leaning on Him and trusting that everything will eventually be ok.



No food pics for yesterday because I didn't eat anything substantial. My nerves just wouldn't let me. I've had a little bite or two today, but not much. I know I have to be strong for myself and my kids so I will pick myself up and be strong. I did manage to muster a little normalcy today, I got on the treadmill and walked for 30 minutes! Walked! Can you believe it? Me either! Maybe tomorrow I will run!

17 comments:

VeggieGirl said...

Erica, I realize that I only just recently started reading your blog, and we don't know each other personally, but if you need any extra support, please know that VeggieGirl cares tremendously, and am here for you. Stay strong through all of this.

Sammie said...

Erica,
I wish you weren't so far away - I am hugging you right now!!! I am sorry to hear this news - you are in my thoughts & prayers. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. You have such courage girlfriend - stay strong - I know, easier said than done.

Jenna said...

oh my god, Erica!!! I feel for you. It's funny how we really feel like we "know" each other via blogland and to me, you seem like such an incredibly strong woman. I KNOW you can get through this. You are so lucky to have the amazing support of your family and there are so many people that love you and will be rooting for you through this fight. You will be in my nightly prayers!

Fitnessista said...

i am giving you the biggest blog hug i can send
i'm so sorry to hear the news but i know you're strong, courageous and going to make it through this. i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and please let me know if you need anything. even if it's just someone to listen and talk to, let me know!
god will take care of you, girly. keep that positive attitude, working out, and taking care of yourself.
xoxo

mealsfromthegirlinthelittleblackdress said...

Erica, keeping you in my thoughts and prayers... I am so very sorry to hear your news. Please continue being strong.

Jenna said...

Hey, Erica---email me your email address. My address is jenna@eatliverun.com

:)

erica said...

You are most definitely in my thoughts and prayers.. stay strong.

Danielle said...

Erica, This is my first time reading your blog (I got the link from Jenna @ EatLiveRun) but you are still a significant member of this wonderful blogosphere so I felt the need to let you know that you have 110% of my support in this extremely tough time. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Tina said...

Erica,

I am sorry to read your recent news. You will most definitely be in my thoughts and prayers in the coming weeks. I know I don't know you, but as a blog "friend," feel free to reach out to me if you need anything at all.

Caitlin said...

i am really sorry to hear about your dignosis. i wish you the best of luck and a very, very speedy recovery.

eatingbender said...

I, like Danielle, saw the link on Jenna's blog and wanted to let you know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. We have just been through this in my extended family - with a positive outcome!!! - and if you ever need anything at all, please don't hesitate to email me.

foodfitfun said...

Erica, I'm so sorry to hear the news. It's probably hard to see past the immediate, but just think how much stronger this will make you as a woman, a mom, a friend, a wife...

If you need a buddy in STL before/after any appointments, just let me know :)

~Bridget

Simple and Divine said...

Erica!!!
I only wish I could tell you this in person!! Though I'm afraid you don't really KNOW me, I am a loyal reader who has happily followed your precious blog since around the end of August (I think!!!) When I read this post, I fell back into my chair. I lost my breath. I felt such pain. I felt scared. I could only imagine what YOU were feeling at that time. And at that moment, I sat back up, shook it off, and came back to myself. I realized that, despite the fact that we do not KNOW each other, per se, it is N.O.W. that I need to be strong for you. I have so much experience with Breast Cancer, as my Aunt has been through it 3 times and every time she kicked ass! Erica, YOU will be okay. YOU will be F-ING FABULOUS, my babygirl. FEEL THAT IN YOU! Amazing that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, isn't it? Not only do you have the amaaazing support of your absolutely beautiful family, but you have my loving support *BLOGSPHERE HUGATHON LIKE WHOOAAA*, all of your caring readers', and the REST OF AMERICA. No, really, YOU HAVE the support, love, prayers, blessings, hugs, and unending light of more than 2.3 MILLION women in the U.S. alone, my darling! YOU CAN DO THIS! YOU WILL! And I, we, all of us, are going to freaking hold your tushy up HIGH and get you through this :) Don't worry!!

My email is simple.divine@yahoo.com
Facebook: Julia Wise
SEND ME SUMM'N!!

If you need ANYTHING, PLEASE don't even think TWICE. Day or Night. I know what it takes to get through this and my girl, you've got it. We won't let you fall, okay? No worries <333

All of my love, prayers, and deepest wishes,
"Julz"

D10 said...

I just started reading your blog. All I can say is hang in there, stay positive and take it one day at a time.

Sarah said...

Dear, sweet Erica. I am so sorry to hear the news but if anyone is prepared to fight it is you. You have no idea how much your positive attitude and encouragement has inspired me and I can only hope to be there for you in the same way. God bless you and your family during this time and always. I will be praying for you.

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:1-5

~Sarah

RhodeyGirl/Sabrina said...

Erica, I am so sorry to hear this terrible news. Luckily, it seems you have great strength, great faith in God, and a great family. Lean on them all, it will help you through this time.

If you need someone outside of your family to talk to about this, feel free to email me. I went through it all with my mom (when she was 39). My email address is rhodeygirltests@gmail.com

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Cara said...

I just started reading your blog but I had to leave a comment and let you know that I am definitely sending you good thoughts your way!

I am sorry you have to go through this, but I know you can pull through it, even though it will be hard.

My boyfriends mother is an RN who specializes in breast cancer, and also works for Genentech as a pharmaceutical representative for breast cancer drugs. If you ever need another professional opinion she is fantastic and can help you out or can help lead you to the very best doctor in the industry. She has helped quite a few friends fight breast cancer (and WIN!), and is always willing to help whoever she can.

It seems like you have a good plan already, but just in case, I am more than willing to help you. My email is cara.ferguson06@gmail.com if you ever feel the need.