Reconstructed.

Well here I am!  Only 16 1/2 weeks after my bilateral mastectomy, I am now reconstructed!  Gosh that sounds so weird.

After my last fill on January 28, we set my surgery day for Friday, February 15.  My expanders were full at 400cc each, and I was ready ASAP!

We went to the city on Thursday and went looking for my billboards that had been put up last week by Siteman.  Yes, I said BILLBOARDS!  Check this out-

A better look-

WOW!   I was so excited to see them, and so proud to promote Siteman Cancer Center’s new South County facility.  I even got to stop and see my very favorite chemo nurse ever, Renee, and she gave us the grand tour.  That place is amazing, I’m tellin’ ya.  Everything is state of the art and beautiful.

So after a lovely Valentine’s Day dinner with my parents at Ruth’s Chris on Thursday evening, we headed to Barnes West County Hospital for my exchange surgery on Friday morning.

 

Surgery consisted of removing the tissue expanders and replacing them with my new silicone implants.  Also, I had some fat grafting to fill in some hollow areas on my chest from the mastectomy and place fat around the upper part of the implants.  The fat came from here (on both legs)-

And went here (edited as best I could)-

And yes, I still have some of Marissa’s markings all over my chest even after a shower!  What lovely artwork she does!

Haha, yeah, I’m not sure if that “After” shot should be classified as “awesome,” but I know the pain meds helped! 

After waking up and slowly getting dressed, we were able to head home.  I slept the whole way, of course, and was very happy to crawl into my own lounge chair in my bedroom. 

I am super sore, especially on the left side, where Dr. Marissa had to do some pocket work and if I move or twist just wrong the pain can bring me to my knees.  Luckily, it has eased some and I have also been very careful NOT to move “that way.” 

And can I just take a moment to tell you again how awesome Marissa is?!  She is truly superwoman- a wife, momma, marathoner, and amazingly gifted plastic surgeon.  And to top it all off, she was sick with the flu all last week, and while the actual flu had passed, I know she felt like she had been hit by a truck.  But there she was, bright and early Friday morning…warrior, I tell ya.  And more appreciated by this patient that she will ever know. 

Want to see some more awesome??

Oh goodness.  I am a hot mess.  Yes, it is time to get my hair washed and fixed!  My friend and hair guru, Lacey, to the rescue.

I’m going to go and chill some more.  I’m not very good at it, but I’m trying.

Love y’all.

xoxo

Choices, Choices

Gosh, we spend a lot of time in doctors’ offices.  Geez.

So Monday (Jan. 28) I had my last fill at my plastic surgeon’s office in STL! 

Dr. Marissa visited with us for a long time (LOVE HER!!) about all the whats-whys-and hows of the exchange surgery.  Meaning exchanging my tissue expanders for implants.  She got out different implants and helped us (SO much, thankfully) decide which implant to go with. 

I already knew that I wanted silicone implants, based on some survivor friends who had saline implants and were not particularly happy with them, and went back and replaced them with the silicone.  Of course every woman is different; I had already decided on the silicone for me. 

The decision really came down to what style of silicone implant to use.  In years past, there wasn’t many options- basically a round silicone implant with different projections and sizes.  But now with the FDA approval of a cohesive silicone gel implant (also known as a “gummy bear” implant), we had a decision to make. 

I’m tellin’ ya, sitting there in the exam room, in my gown, shopping for boobies was interesting.  I am an upbeat and positive person, and pretty much always look at the bright side of things, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that while I was sitting there I didn’t have thoughts of how much our lives have changed in the past 4 years.  <sigh>…life used to be so “easy.” 

This easily came to mind and pretty much sums up my life as a breast cancer patient…

Thank You, Lord.

After talking, and talking, and talking with Marissa, we decided on the “gummy bear” implants.  They are nicknamed that, by the way, because their consistency inside is like that of a gummy bear, or a marshmallow.  And as far as shape, we decided to go with the contoured shape; they tend to be more natural looking.  As for profile, it will be a high profile implant because there is no tissue to back up the implant so more profile is needed.  For someone having breast augmentation, the profile is more a decision that will have to be made, for a mastectomy patient like me, it’s pretty much standard to use the high profile implants.   

So after all that, I had my last fill.  It was only 20cc, which brought me to an even 400cc each.  Done!  Yay!!

We scheduled my surgery for Friday, February 15th…two weeks from this Friday.  I can’t wait!!  I am so excited to have my new, SOFT implants!  These tissue expanders haven’t been horrible, but pretty much feel like I have rocks in my chest.  I’m not looking forward to the time off my normal schedule again [Boo!], but it will all be SO worth it. 

After my appointment we had some lunch, went tool shopping for the shop building, and headed home to our kiddos (who were enjoying yet another day off school due to flu and illness).

Ugh, I’m so tired of all this sickness that’s floating around here.  Is it bad where you are?? It’s been awful here.

Talk to you soon!

xoxo

Fun And Not So Fun

I think December is going to go down as the least posted month in history!  But it makes sense, I guess, since the whole month is jam packed with “stuff.”  Mostly fun stuff at least!

Let me break it down for you.

FUN-

 

And the NOT SO FUN-

 

Let me explain the not so fun…  Up before the sun on the morning of the 14th for my 3rd fill and my checkup with my oncologist.  Fill went well, and my appointment with Tim went well, but after the appointment he had scheduled a bone scan to check out some pain I had in my femur. 

Good news?  Femur looks good!  Bad news?  Another broken rib.  Seriously?!  He said it looks like a fracture and we will rescan in 3 months at my next appointment.  …sigh…

Of course all the “what-ifs” and such are running through my mind.  Mainly…Is this a metastatic break?  So that’s been weighing on my mind heavily.

So heavily apparently, that I now have shingles. [which explains the picture of my back in the picture above]  The stress from the unknowns of the scan plus all the goings on of Christmas and such, I guess was too much for my system. 

Tim identified the shingles immediately and put me on an anti-viral to help lessen the severity of the outbreak.  It seems to be working because my symptoms of intense itching, electric shock-like pain, and a burning sensation are all less severe than they were.  They are still there, but not as crazy, thankfully.

I was pretty bummed with the shingles thing.  I was like, “What else?!  Seriously??”  But now that I am feeling better, my mood has improved too.

Another thing that has helped is a couple good runs.   An 8-mile run on my treadmill yesterday morning before church, and a 7-mile run this morning definitely has perked me up!  Yay, endorphins!!!

I’m going to take my happy mood to my mom and dad’s today to celebrate Christmas Eve with the family.  Tomorrow morning after we open presents here at home we will head to Jack’s mom and dad’s to celebrate and spend the day with family.  It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

     

Merry Christmas!

God Bless!

xoxo

“If I Could Give One Gift”

It’s been a crazy busy week around here, with school winding down for the semester, basketball season in full swing, and Christmas is less than a week away…whoa! 

And the answer is, no, of course I’m not ready.  If you know me well, you are not surprised by this.

To quickly update on Bulldog Basketball, we are now sporting a 7-2 record and have one more game (tomorrow night) before Christmas.  We have a Christmas Tournament that starts the 26th and is always big fun as well!  Here we go, Bulldogs, here we go!

Upward Cheer practices have started for this season!  I am helping with Katie’s squad this year.  Yes, my little girl decided to go back to her first love, cheerleading.  She wasn’t that impressed with basketball, although she was very good at it!  She has a cheerleader’s heart and more pep than most anybody so it’s a good fit.  We’re excited and getting ready for our first game which is in January.

So what made me put up a post TODAY, of all days…in between class parties, boys’ practices, and our girls night with Tiff and Gracey??

This:   Katie’s paper that she wrote for “If I Could Give One Gift.”

 

I am speechless.  There are no words for how I feel.  Pride mostly.  I am so proud that my girl would give this most precious gift that would mean new life for so many of us.  I am also saddened that my baby girl has to know about a cure.  That she has to live with the ugly “c” word in her life.  But the beautiful hope that she has is inspiring.

Believing…that God is still using my cancer diagnosis for good.

Who knows, maybe one day Katie will be the one to discover that cure?       

Here’s to HOPE.

xoxo

Our Hope & Future

This is what comes to mind when I think of all the news that is coming out of the San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium -

 

And this is what my life depends on -

Thank You, Lord, for the HOPE that Your promises bring us every single day.

Have a great Friday, friends

xoxo

SABCS, Another Run, & Bulldog WIN

Hey!

I am sitting in front of my computer checking out basketball pictures from last night’s game [WIN!!!], as well as keeping an eye on Twitter and the news coming out of this year’s San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium (SABCS). 

I love that doctors, researchers, and patients alike can all gather at this annual conference to talk about the latest and greatest developments in the treatment of breast cancer.  Tim (my fabu oncologist) is there, along with some other docs from Wash U, hopefully finding new ways to keep me alive for a long, long, long time. 

I have hopes to be able to go this conference someday.  But for now, I’ll just count on my BCSM and Twitter peeps to keep me informed. 

 

Earlier this morning I enjoyed a chilly 6.25 mile run!!  I don’t know what it is with me and the .25s this week, but once I started it I figured, eh, why not continue the trend.  I know, I’m weird.  I cut over two minutes off my time from Monday’s outside run!  Getting faster!! 

Crappy news: my femur is a tad sore.  I don’t want to talk about it.  It pisses me off.  Sorry for the language, Mom, but it does. Humph.

But regardless, it felt SO GOOD to get out the cold morning air and run.  It just makes me a happy, happy girl.

Like I said before, last night’s game was a WINNER!  The Varsity Bulldogs are 5-0!  I can’t remember the last time we started the season undefeated! 

The team we played didn’t have enough players for a JV game, so there was just the Varsity game last night.  Zachary got some minutes in the game and had a couple points.  I don’t know how many Tyler had last night.  I rely heavily on our school photographer extraordinaire (and friend) for many of the pics of the kids, but there weren’t any of Zach last night.   Tyler was all over the pictures though!

See the gold arrow in the picture above??  I just had to point out that that is MY name on a cheerleading banner hanging in the gym!  Our squad during the 1993-94 year (I was a sophomore) got 1st place at Regionals and qualified for State Competition where we took 2nd place [or Runner up, as the banner reads]!!  So fun!!

Did you have a good high school experience?  Do you ever wish you could go back and relive some of those days??  I know I do.  Jack and I talk about it all the time…I think we are reliving it through our kids now.

Ok, Ladies: Here’s your friendly reminder!  Check your breasts, schedule your mammogram, and be your own advocate.  And tell others to do the same!  Early detection can SAVE. YOUR. LIFE.

xoxo

Today I Ran

(note: this post was supposed to go up yesterday (monday), but I got busy midway through and forgot. imagine.)

There have been a few posts that have had a title similar to this one.  Not like “I’m going to take a vacation from running,” kind of thing [Gosh, NO!], but a “Something is going on in my life that is forcing me to stop running.” 

I hate those.

I would much rather decide on my own to take a vacay from running, I’m not a fan of being told what to do…just ask my parents…or my husband.  

No, every time I have had to stop running it is a must.  Ugh.

But oh happy day, TODAY I RAN!!!  Thank You, Jesus, for my feet, my legs, my lungs, and the beautiful scenery that I observed on my 6.25 mile run this morning!  It.was.glorious.

GLORIOUS.

At the time of my run this morning exactly six weeks ago, I was having my bilateral mastectomy and beginning the reconstruction process.  Meaning, all the breast tissue and “other stuff” was removed, along with a lymph node, and tissue expanders were put in.  You can check out this post to read more about it.

So in my six weeks of recovery I’ve done a LOT of walking…5-6 miles/day, 5-6 days/week.  And it’s felt great to just be moving.  Anything else was basically off limits-no weights, no pushups, nothing crazy that involves too much upper body movement.  I was also not supposed to get my heart rate or blood pressure up either-umm, I’m going to assume that my sons’ basketball games don’t count.

But yesterday, I emailed my amazing PS and her response,

I was super excited, and a little nervous when I got her answer…why?!  That’s crazy!  I’ve been dyingggg to run for 6 long weeks and now I finally get permission and I’m hesitating! 

Truthfully I guess I just didn’t know how things would feel.  Would I have the stamina?  Would it hurt??  Would it feel like before?  Will my expander end up in my armpit if it bounces too much??

So I decided to test things out yesterday afternoon.  I wore a sports bra over the top of my surgical bra and padding that I wear every day…believe me, NOTHING was moving.
  

And I hopped on the treadmill.  For 5.25 cautious miles, I alternated between running and walking.  For 61 minutes.  And everything felt good!  My boobs didn’t fall off, they weren’t sore, they felt normal!  And I felt back to normal for the first time in six weeks.

Since my test run felt so good, I decided that I would try running OUTSIDE today.

The verdict?

 

6.25 miles in one hour.  Yippee!!!!! 

Thank.You.Lord.

Even though the skies were cloudy and gray, it could not dampen my spirits at all!

Flying high on endorphins today!

Love y’all!

xoxo

Girls Day-Fill Number TWO!

My sister, Jessica, were up and at ‘em bright and early yesterday morning for our day of doctor’s appointments in STL.

I had an appointment to get my second fill and Jessa had her annual mammogram.  It really was a “Girls” Day!  Ha!

We loaded up with plenty of coffee and hit the road.  My appointment was first, at 10:30.

First of all, I got to see my “sister” Ally, her Mom Cindy, and her boyfriend, Justin!  That totally made my day!  Ally and I talk and/or text all the time, so how on earth we did not know that each other were going to the PS office today is beyond me!  We had our “Oh my gosh!  Hiiiiii!!!” moment in the waiting room and since the appointments were running late, we got to have a little while to visit.  Yay!  Somehow, we managed to completely forget to get a picture...humph.  Imagine that…us forgetting something?!

I got to visit with my favorite nurse, Marilyn, while she put 60cc in each side.  Let me just say again, I am SO GLAD that I can’t feel the huge needle that injects the saline into my expanders.  Whew.

Hey, I have some shape!  Sweet!!

Marilyn said that everything looks good and I’ll come back in two weeks for my next fill.  I actually made my appointment for 2 1/2 weeks because on the 14th I go to see Tim (oncologist) to get checked out.  Two appointments in one day…score!

Jessa’s mammogram appointment with Julie was up next.  I used my mad city-driving skills to get us downtown only 10 minutes late for her 11:30 appointment.  Here’s what that appointment consisted of:

1. Mammogram
2. Get called back for more mammogram pictures
3. Go have a 3D mammogram done to check out a specific area.
4. Ultrasound of that area to verify that all is well.
5. Visit with Julie to get the news that “All IS well!”

Dense breast tissue (which is common in young women) was the area they were checking out repeatedly.  They want to be sure that they get all the best images so they can see through the dense tissue.  So while extra pictures also mean extra anxiety for a few minutes, extra pictures also ensure that nothing gets left unnoticed.

But everything was perfect and she’s good to go for next year!  Yay Jess!!

We headed to eat around 2pm…we were starving!  We scarfed down salads at Cheesecake Factory and then each ran a couple of errands. 

Can you guess which store I was heading to?
 

While I’d actually love to visit all these stores (!), I really needed to grab a couple of things at Whole Foods and get going.  We had a long drive home, after all.   Ack.

Unfortunately our long drive home started out like this-

Gah.  Love 270.  Not.

We eventually made it home around 730pm; I was completely exhausted. 

And I still am.  Seriously, I have had four cups of coffee throughout the day today and they haven’t done a thing.  I was able to have a pretty great walk this morning though, despite my tiredness-

6.5 miles of pure freezing bliss! 

NOTE: It’s now about 445pm.  I started this blog around 1130am.  Coffee, a mini-nap, and chemo-menopause brain have all interrupted me today. 

Love to all.

xoxo