Thursday, October 30, 2008
After that, I was feeling MUCH better! Enjoying the beautiful day, SO LOVING my new haircut and back to smiling! :-) Once we got back home, I did my Week 4 Day 3 homework in my Bible study. I am always uplifted when I dive into His Word; it seems no matter what the lesson may be about, it always seems to speak to just me. Like it was tailor made for me...duh, it totally is! teehee! Today's lesson was about Noah and how he had faith and stepped out in that faith despite the evilness, taunts, and jeers he heard from humanity around him. He was faithful to God, and God rewarded him. Praise God! Praise Him for the endless promises His word hold for us! You know, though, when I was reading Genesis 6 about Noah I couldn't help but keep picturing the movie "Evan Almighty!" Maybe because it was just on the other day and I watched it...twice. But how God kept trying to tell Evan what He wanted but Evan just didn't get it...his alarm clock kept going off at 6:14 am when it was set for a different time, his new congressional license plate was GEN 614, and even someone calling his office with a baby announcement said the baby weighed 6lbs. 14 oz. God was trying to get His attention, Evan just didn't get it! I am so thankful that God is relentless on us when He wants something from us, which is always! He NEVER gives up. Never tires of telling us again, and again, and AGAIN. He is constantly showing us how much He loves us and wants to be close to us, NO MATTER what we have done or how we have lived! He just wants to be close to us! It is like a parents' love times infinity! How awesome is that??! God is so good! Thankful doesn't even begin to describe how I feel! Praise God that He never gives up on us!
From Psalm 91:
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.
11 For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
14 "Because He loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
What a difference a haircut can make! I feel F.A.N.T.A.S.T.I.C! Actually, strangely, I feel grown up! 13 years of marriage and 3 kids and I get a new haircut and feel grown up! LOL! I can't believe I didn't do it before! Now I'm kinda mad that it's gonna fall out! Ha! Hey, but at least at this short length, it won't take as long to grow back out to here. Lacey did such a great job cutting it and Michelle and my mom were sitting there going, "Why didn't you cut it sooner??" But it was such fun! All the kids took a turn cutting a big chunk of hair off...they really enjoyed that! There was so much hair on the floor! Wow, I bet I lost weight, seriously. And I can feel the wind on my neck...cool!
Check out all that hair! Geez!!
Today was SUCH a busy day! I had all three kids in PB...dentist for me, orthodontist for Tyler, and an eye exam for Zachary. Katie was just along for the ride. Thrown into our to-do list, was new jeans for Zachary, prescriptions to pick up, and a Walmart list a mile long. I was so glad when Tyler said he didn't have to be back by 3 for practice. I could've made it, but it would have been pushing it! But we had a good day. It was very normal...which was very nice.
I was running this morning, listening to some praise and worship music, trucking along, when a song from my childhood popped into my head. It was a song that we always sang at revival when David and Geneva Bentley would come to our church once a year. It went,
"The Lord has not given us a spirit of fear. The Lord has not given us a spirit of fear. The Lord has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and a sound mind."
As soon as I finished 4 miles, I hopped off and googled it (!), so I could see where it came from...it's 2 Timothy 1:7. Thank goodness for internet access! Ha! Anyway, it is perfect of course, as any thing in God's Word is, and spoke to me, as anything in God's Word does, if you listen to it. That anxiety I'm feeling about diagnosis or treatment is not what God wants for me, it is the devil that gives us fear. God gives is FAITH! And faith is much stronger than fear, anyday! Praise God for that! Praise God that we can count on Him because He is with us always!
More and better pics tomorrow...my phone is being cantankerous tonight!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
After that we went to the cardiac testing area for my echo cardiogram. They needed a baseline scan of my heart because the Herceptin that I will be taking for a year has a small chance of causing heart muscle damage. So now they will have something to compare future scans to, if they need it. I pray they won't. That was a fairy easy test, though. I laid on a bed in a dark room while they ultrasounded my chest. Man, am I tired of taking my shirt off! My poor hubby! The only time he has seen my chest lately is when they are testing or examining me for something! LOL! Probably tmi, but it had to be said! Haha!
After that, I made a short dash across campus to grab a Starbucks while he waited for our car at valet. Then we headed for home...well not home, Tyler's ballgame. We made it there at the beginning of the 2nd quarter. I think he was happy we made it. They lost but I'm really glad we were there. Zach and Katie were glad too! Katie especially. She has been a mama's girl lately, I think because of all the trips we have been making to drs and stuff, and that is completely unlike our normal routine. She is ALWAYS with me...my little sidekick. So tonight, my incision is feeling better and I think we are going to take the body pillow out from between us so we can snuggle! We always snuggle! Maybe I'm kinda excited, too! teehee
Tomorrow I am going to PB to get my teeth cleaned (have to do it before chemo starts) and take Tyler to the orthodontist for a check-up. We will probably make a Walmart run through the grocery aisles, and then hopefully have time to go to lunch somewhere other than a drive-through. Uck! I am so ready for Friday to get here...I guess so I can get my first-treatment jitters over with. And because the sooner we start the sooner we finish!
Ooh, and I may get my hair cut tomorrow evening! Short!! I'm kinda excited about it! Of course I'll post pics if I do it! Night!
"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you." Matthew 6:33
"My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." Exodus 33:14
Monday, October 27, 2008
It is COLD here today! Now, I know I waited and waited for fall weather so I'm not going to complain, but today the temp at noon was 49! Geez! But it does feel nice. I have spent the majority of my day totally immersed in my week 4 Bible study. See, even my lunch was eaten at my dining room table with my computer! My, how I love Beth Moore! God is totally using her as a tool to reach women everywhere about faith, believing, and God's unfailing love. I am so thankful to be a child of God and so thankful that He is always there and that He loves me. I am so unworthy of His unfailing love, yet I know He doesn't see me that way and I am so thankful! Praise Jesus!
I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. (Psalm 16:8)
We have to go the STL tomorrow to meet with the Radiation Oncologist. It is a consult appointment and I'm assuming she will be going over with us the exact course of treatment for radiation when chemo ends. I also have to have a baseline echo cardiogram tomorrow. The Herceptin that I will be taking for a year has a small percent chance that it could damage the heart muscle or something...so Dr. P wanted to get a baseline echo in case we need to compare them later. Be in prayer that my heart won't be beating a million miles a minute while we do the test! Talk about a wacked out reading; they certainly won't be getting an accurate resting heart rate! Ha!
In just a few minutes, Katie and I will be making our daily trek to the school to pick up Zachary; Tyler has basketball practice today. We are getting our flu shots today, too. Ugh, that may ruin Katie's afternoon. Then it's haircuts for the boys...maybe me! I'm thinking about getting a lot of my hair cut this week. I thought I would go short (for me) this week, then very short next week. Kind of a gradual thing before I shave it. It's so long, and I've pretty much always had it long, so I'm actually kind of excited about cutting it. I'm so curious to see what I would look like with short hair! Now seems to be the perfect time to experiment! I don't know if I'll do it today, or just look at Lacey's books, but we'll see! Have a great rest of your afternoon, all!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
I, in turn, am awarding 7 of my own favorite blogs...in no particular order. I hope you come to enjoy them as much as I have:
- Jenna (Eat, Live, Run)
- Sammie (Running with a Recipe)
- Melody (My FIGHT Against Breast Cancer)
- Linds (Life According to Mrs. LC)
- Sarah (See Sarah Eat)
- Bridget (food.fit.fun)
- Gina (The Fitnessista)
So congratulations all! And even more, thank you for being an inspiration to me in one way or another!
We are off to take the kids to see a movie today and eat some delicious mexican food, and check out the progress on our cabin! Yay for a beautiful day out! Hope ya'll have a blessed Sunday!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Praise Jesus! More good news! The dr called last night from STL to tell us that there was no residual cancer left in the tissue she removed on Wed.! She said that she had the path lab working overtime so she could get us the results by the weekend. And, yes, it TOTALLY MADE our weekend! So, with all the scans having come back clear on Tues. night and now last night's report, she said I am officially CANCER-FREE! Now it's just on to step two...taking my medicine (chemo and radiation) to ensure that any microscopic bits that may be floating around are also gone forever! Boy, it sure makes the whole chemo thing easier to take knowing that there is nothing else to fight! After she called last night, we went out to dinner to celebrate our good news. And I had the best night's sleep in probably a month!
There's not a whole lot going on today around here. It is going to be a beautiful day, mid-60s and sunny. Too bad I can't drive yet, or go for a run..ooohhhh that would hurt right now! Ha! Jack is going to work today because our trips to STL have put us a little behind so the kids and I will probably just chill here. My sister, Jessica, may come over today to hang out. I hope so!
I hope you all have as beautiful of a day as we are having here and are able to get out and enjoy it!
Friday, October 24, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Kim and Jack waiting with me...doesn't he look excited?!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
On a side note, interestingly, the only thing the bone scan showed was mild shin splints from my running. :-D
So I just wanted to get this quick post in to share my fabulous news! I am praying for an easy and quick procedure today and no anesthesia-sickness!! Hope ya'll have a great day!
"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15:57
Monday, October 20, 2008
I felt like I finally got back on my routine this morning. I walked/ran on the treadmill for 45 minutes this morning, 3 1/2 miles. Yay! I probably would have ran a little more, but I forgot to put on a second sports bra to minimize any bouncing; not that they are that big, but to keep my incisions from tugging! Lol! But it felt great, a little weird, but great. So now here I am, getting my blog on, watching The View as I type (I love Hot Topic days!), and getting ready to dive into my 3rd week of my Bible study that Jenna and I are doing together. I look forward to my "homework" every day...now that's a first!
As you can see, I dug into breakfast before I remembered to take a picture! I made myself a parfait this morning with mixed berries, vanilla Light & Fit yogurt, and sprinkled some Kashi Honey Almond Flax cereal on top (my favorite part).
My oncologist's office just called and set up my appointments for tomorrows scans; a bone scan and a CT scan. Then my clean-up procedure on Wednesday, which is same day...thank goodness! As long as they give me something to prevent me from getting anesthesia-sick I'm in good shape. Then they have scheduled my first chemo treatment for Friday, October 31. I'm a little bummed about it because we have "little" kids and Halloween is a big deal for them! I always take cupcakes and treats to the classes, and of course there is the trick-or-treating that evening. :-( But my appointment is at 10:30am and they said to allow about 5 hrs for my first treatment, because they have to keep me longer afterwards to watch for reactions to the medicines and stuff. So that puts it at 3:30pm before we can leave STL. And probably 7pm before we get home. Maybe we will have time to take them trick-or-treating when we get back. I hope so.
Well I'm going to get on with the day. Tyler has a ballgame tonight so it's another busy one around here! Hope you have a good Monday!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
The ride home was quite interesting! We live in a rural area in southeast Missouri. Ozark country. That means rolling hills and valleys. No straight roads hardly. Not exactly the best thing for our daughter who gets carsick, and two puppies who have never been in a car. Katie threw up on the way to get the puppies. We had to stop not 30 minutes after we left the house. Rex first got sick on Tyler not long after we got in the car. We knew it was coming, too! He was whimpering and moaning...oh yeah. It was gross. But we were cracking up! Tyler was like, "Uh, Mom, he puked on me...uh, yeah, all over me." It was so deadpan serious, we just died laughing! Then after he cleaned that up, he pooped on him! For that one we had to pull over! It was hilarious! And disgusting! And now my car smells like a barnyard...ugh. So it is in the garage, all the windows rolled down, trying to air out. I hope it smells better by tomorrow!
It was a beautiful day to be out and about. It was pure sunshine, and no clouds in the sky. It was 65 degrees and just lovely! This is my very favorite weather ever! It would have been perfect to go for a run today (since I got permission!!) but family time trumped personal time. It was a "perfect" day! So maybe tomorrow, I will get to get back on track. For now, anyway, my hubby went to go get pizza and when he comes back we will settle in to watch Desperate Housewives (it's DVR-ing right now so we can skip commercials!). I hope ya'll had as wonderful a day as we did!
- A new verse I came across today; lovely, beautiful, powerful:
- "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Are your ready for a science lesson in breast cancer?? Here goes...Breast cancer is fed by a certain receptor in the body,estrogen, progesterone, or the HER2 protein, these receptors act as vitamins for the cancer. HER2 is the least common, occuring in 20% of cases...ready for this...my cancer is fed by ALL THREE. Geez. He said it's actually a mixed blessing to have the HER2 because while it makes the cancer more aggressive,the medicine given for it makes the whole chemo process 50% more effective. The drug for it, Herceptin, is given along with the chemo and has little to no side effects. He said he has no
reason to believe that it has spread, but there is no way to know until they do the scans. So, my treatment outline is:
Surgery next Tuesday to remove the last microscopic bits of the cancer...theyare extremely confident that this will happen.
Chemo will start in 2 wks (from now). I am having the TCH therapy (abbreviations for the names of the drugs, with the H being the Herceptin). I will have 6 treatments, each being 3 weeks apart, but the Herceptin portion will continue up until the year mark. So I will be going to STL every 3 weeks for the next year for treatment. But the good news is, after the 6 chemo treatments, it will just be the iv Herceptin, with no side effects so my hair will start to grow back, more energy, etc. So, like my hubby was saying, after that it's just a shopping trip! Yeah!
After the 6 chemo treatments, 6 weeks of radiation will begin, daily 5x/week for the 6 weeks. That's the part that will totally suck because we are 3 hrs from STL..lots of driving, lots of trips. Meh. But one trip at a time, different "partners in crime" to go with me, and it will fly by I'm sure.
I will also have to start anti-estrogen pills, and get my IUD taken out, since it's the Mirena and emits a low amount of progestrone.
He said that we are not treating this cancer, we are CURING it. It is a total fluke that I have it, with no family history, no genetic mutations, etc. He said we are going for the CURE. YOU HEAR THAT?? THE CURE! That was music to my ears, and exactly what I needed to hear! We left there very positive and excited! My prayer right now is that when we do the scans on Tuesday, it will show no spread anywhere else and we can continue treatment as it has been laid out. He told me to keep running, keep doing what I'm doing. He said running is good for me and as long as I feel like it, to do it. Yay! He said I may be tired a couple of days on the weeks of the chemo treatment, but he will give me medicine for the nausea, and I will def lose my hair. I think I surprised him when I saidthat's ok, cause I have already bought my wig and I actually like it better than my real hair! Ha!
So, that's it in a nutshell. We are ready to rock and get started and get it over with! Thank you for your continued prayers, please continue!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I have been busy recovering since the last time I posted. Active recovery, with a hubby and 3 kids...but recovery nonetheless! We have been going to Tyler's basketball games like crazy, the season actually winds down in the next 2 weeks. They have done pretty well! Tyler has grown up so much this year, there's something about Jr. High that will do that to ya! He has these girls that text him all the time, and are now saying "hi" to me at his ballgames (what?) and trying to play with Katie, too. Uh huh, trying to get it with the 'rents...I see. I may be young, but I was not born yesterday! *lol* It's quite a trip.
I have also spent the last week completely immersing myself in a new Bible study. I decided to do Beth Moore's Believing God study offered on Lifeway's website. It is all online, so that is very cool! I am so psyched about it. I find myself wanting to do the daily "homework" and am anxious to see what God is going to reveal to me everyday. And, boy is He working! My new favorite verses are:
- "Do not be afraid...just believe." Mark 5:36
- "...Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:10
- "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
And these aren't even the tip of the iceberg of the great strength and joy I have gained from fully trusting in the LORD. My hubby told me the other day that I was so strong and he admired me so much...I just had to point upwards, because that is where my strength come from. I'm not necessarily strong...I am stubborn! So maybe God has used that stubbornness to turn into strength and positivity for me and my family and friends. Yay for Him to use it for His Glory!
I have also stumbled across another positive thing this last 2 weeks. I have been a little spoiled! My friend, Lacey, who is a stylist, has been washing my hair for me (cause I can't raise my right arm above my head until they take the drain out, grrr), and Kim has been washing it this week at Lacey's shop because Lacey is in Mexico on vacay, Kim has also cleaned my bathrooms (poor girl, boys bathrooms are the worst!), Michelle has been my caretaker by changing bandages, cleaning wounds, and just being THERE, and to top it off my sister, Layne and her precious boy Ethan were here for a little over a week; there's nothing better than sister time! My girls, I tell ya, they are the best! I don't what I would have done without them. So, yeah there has been many positives of being post-op!
This Friday we go back to St. Louis to the drs. First is the surgeon who will be taking out the drain...can you say WOO-HOO! I am SO excited about the drain being gone. I feel like I am tethered down with this darn thing...even though I am clearly not. It safety pins to my sports bra and has all but quit draining, so I'm not even having to empty it that often, but it's THERE. And that's enough. I am so excited for them to take it out on Friday! I think the first thing I want to do on Saturday is try to go for a run! Oh, I hope I can! I haven't been able to do ANYTHING for the last 2 weeks. It's been 2 weeks today since I have went for a run...I miss it soooo much! I miss the endorphins, strength, and time to think. So I am hoping I will be able to at least walk/jog some on Saturday. So, anyway, we will do that and we will talk about the next clean-up procedure set for next Wed. Ugh. But at least it is same-day and they will give me something for the post-anesthesia nausea (which was the worst part). Then we will go meet the oncologist. I am anxious to meet him. I hope he's nice. I mean like, warm and fuzzy kind of nice. I need that as a patient. His picture looks nice and my surgeon says he's "very cool." That's good. "Cool" will do, too. And he's the medical director of the whole cancer institute (Siteman Cancer Center)...that HAS to be good!
Anyway, now that my breakfast is posted, it's almost time for lunch...ha! Hope you all are having a great day!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
My dr called this evening with fantastic news! My genetic testing that we had done for the BRCA 1 and 2 genes results came back this evening. The results were negative! This is such good news because it would mean that my risk for breast cancer returning after we deal with this bout would be 90% and my risk for ovarian cancer would also be through the roof. So if they had come back positive, it would have meant a double mastectomy and reconstruction, and after chemo and radiation, then a hysterectomy to prevent the ovarian cancer. My mom and dad, sisters, and brother were all over here at our house having dinner when the dr called. It was like a giant cheer went up when I told them! It was such a fun moment! Just pure good news. Nothing I had to look for the silver lining for, or spin in a positive way....just 100% pure good news! Praise God! I have read Psalm 57 over and over this evening, wondering where it has been the last two weeks...it is perfect, as all of God's Word truly is and absolutely spoke to my heart:
"Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed. I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose, for me. He sends from heaven and saves me, rebuking those who hotly pursue me; God sends his love and his faithfulness. I am in the midst of lions; I lie among ravenous beasts-men whose teeth are spears and arrows, whose tongues are sharp swords. Be exaulted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth. They spread a net for me feet-I was bowed down in distress. They dug a pit in my path-but they have fallen into it themselves. My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music. Awake, my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exaulted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth." Psalm 57
Also on the 17th, we are meeting with the oncologist who will set up the chemo and take care of me during treatments. So we will have a busy day in the city. Maybe that day we can make a trip out to Whole Foods!
My sister and Ethan are still here and I am so glad! They are staying at my mom and dad's and they will be here this morning to hang with me today. He is at the age where he is discovering everything...thanks to my handsome perfect nephew, my house is now baby-proofed! It works out perfect! Although, I think I did hear my sister say something about a "pen" yesterday, and Katie mentioned a "cage." Lol! I LOVE having them here and I hope they can stay awhile.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
But it is a beautiful day today. The sun is shining and it is warmer today, which you know I could do with the cooler, but it is beautiful nonetheless. I opted for a change of scenery today. After I got my hair done, my sister picked me up and we came out to mom and dad's to have dinner and chill for the day. I love my house, but it feels really good to be out for awhile. And to get some good home-cooking never hurts either! We are planning on going for a walk too, this afternoon. I am REALLY looking forward to that...I've been missing my exercise endorphins bigtime!!
My sister and I have BIG plans for the evening...it's 2 hours of straight tv tonight. From Desperate Housewives, to Girls Next Door, to Kimora, it's gonna be a good night of tv watching at our house! I'm so glad she's here!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
I was so glad to see my little ones when we got home yesterday. I know they were glad to be home, too. As soon as we got home, though, Jack had to turn around and go to Tyler's basketball game about 20 minutes away. My mom came to keep me company while the men and kids went to the game. We got take out salads for dinner (with extra breadsticks!), watched the vp debate, and emptied and measured my drain...ya know, typical evening!
I slept so good last night. I was a little surprised because I figured I would have to get up to take pain medicine or empty my drain, or something else during the night. But nope! We went to bed around 10pm, and I didn't wake up until 6am. I awoke feeling rested and recharged. Yay!
Today is a beautiful day outside! You know how I've been longing for that crisp, fall weather? Well it's here and I am so glad! I hope it stays around. But it really makes me miss running. I wish I could just lace up and take off for the park this morning...but I will soon enough I guess. But I am looking forward to going to the park to at least walk before the weekend is over. Yay for fall!
I guess I always knew that Breast Cancer Awareness month was October, but I never paid much attention to it until now. Ironically, I had my surgery on October 1, the first day of Breast Cancer Awareness month (and my dad's 60th b-day) and ever since then the BCA promotions are EVERYWHERE! The ladies on The View are featuring all kinds of pink products with proceeds going to the Susan G. Komen Foundation for Breast Cancer Research, Wednesday night in St. Louis they lit the arch pink in honor of BCA month. I wish I could have seen it from my hospital room, but at least they showed it on the news. But it is everywhere! It makes me feel very "not alone" right now...it's very important I think that you don't ever feel like you are fighting this battle alone.
My mom just got off the phone with my sister, Layne. She and her son Ethan (who just turned 1) are on their way here to hang out with us for awhile. Her hubby, Brett, works at Whiteman Airforce Base near Kansas City, and he can't come but she and Ethan will be here for several days. I am so excited that she is coming for awhile! I thought she was just coming for the weekend, so I am super-stoked that she can stay longer! Sister time is perfect medicine! My other sister is gone to Texas for the weekend so I will see her next week. My baby brother will pop in and out this weekend I'm sure, too. My family has been wonderful and I couldn't ask a more loving and supportive family. I hope you all have been blessed with a fantastic family as well!
It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)
Thursday, October 2, 2008
We will be going home today, thankfully. It will be little crazy getting out of here today. We are on the campus of WashU here in St. Louis, the site of tonight's vp debate. It kinda exciting with everything going on...satellite trucks all over the place, secret service sweeps, and the general preparations, it's really neat! We are watching cbs on tv and they are broadcasting right across the campus from us, but I'm ready to get back to my babies and my house. I hope the ride is comfortable and quick! Thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers...I felt so calm going into surgery yesterday, and I know that kind of peace only comes from God. I'll post again later, probably when we get home. Home, yay!!
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