Craving Normalcy

Wow! It's been a week! I guess I had myself a little blog-vacation, huh?? But I know ya'll understand that we've had a pretty busy week around here. Where to start? I guess I'll start with what we found out Friday at St. Louis. I had an appt at 8am at the Breast Center where we met with my dr ( I REALLY like her!), did more testing (ultrasound and biopsy of the lymph nodes, and a breast mri), and did all my pre-admit stuff for my surgery next week. It was a LOOONNGGG day. We got there at 715am and didn't leave until 345pm. It was worth it though, because barring any funky results, they would have all the info they needed and I wouldn't have to go back until day of surgery. And.......no funky results! Yay! We got the mri results on Tuesday evening...officially the longest flippin' day of my life! She said that she could see the cavity where they did the first surgery a week or so ago, but no other abnormalities in the right breast, and nothing in the left! Whew! The mri results were HUGE for me, because it was the big unknown in the equation. Who knew what it would show?? So that was great! The lymph node biopsy results were not so good, but didn't change the course of treatment any. They were positive for cancer, so instead of just taking out 2-3, she is going to take them all from under my arm. She said I was going to have chemo anyway because I am so young, and radiation was a given. So it was a bummer, but not unexpected. I was expecting that result. So next Wed. I am having a lumpectomy to clean up the spot where the lump was, remove the lymph nodes, and put in a port for chemo that will begin about 3 weeks following surgery. Since they are taking out all the lymph nodes, it will require an overnight hospital stay. :(

I am PROUD to say that I have been running every day. Not quite the mileage as before, but 5 miles a day is pretty good! My appetite has been hit and miss so the energy level hasn't been great. The other day after the mri results came in, I hadn't eaten anything all day, and after she called, we had pizza and cheesecake! Talk about celebration food! Haha! But it feels so good to run every morning. It feels normal...and that's what I really missing right now is normalcy. It seems like every conversation is about tests, or surgery, or treatment. But we are trying...and we are holding fast to God and His love.

I am prepping myself for surgery and treatment by doing some retail therapy. I have bought a hot pink laptop and 4 breast cancer awareness shirts with the following on them:

• Runner Girl - a silhouette of a girl running and the ribbon in her hair is a breast cancer awareness pink ribbon. This is my favorite!!
• Losing is not an option. I will fight. I will win. - This one makes me feel strong!
• I Fight Like A Girl - A hoodie I really liked.
• Pink Power - Hot pink with hearts...girly I know!

They have shipped and I can't wait to get them! Cafepress.com is a great site for ANY kind of t-shirt!

My best friends have been wonderful! They have been here every day...not letting me spend too much time alone. Thankfully, because that's when your mind starts to work. Kim, Michelle, and Tiffany have been my lifesavers this last week. And my sisters were here all weekend and that was all I ever needed wrapped in their perfect twin-package. Jack has been amazing. Supportive and strong, even though I know he's hurting too. And we are keeping the lines open with the kids and they are hanging tough just like mom.

It's been a busy week, so there's been a lot to say and I still feel like I've left so much out! But hopefully I am back now so I won't have to play catch-up again! Keep us in your thoughts and prayers!

My mom gave me this verse to hold on to, and I LOVE it:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)