My post from September 17, 2008 was titled “Rocked.” because on September 16, 2008 I got the most shocking news ever…I had breast cancer. Here is that post:
I am completely rocked. From my head to my toes I could not be any more stunned. I had a great 8 mile run yesterday morning and was making my breakfast when I got the call. When the phone rang, I thought, "here's the call I've been waiting for!" The call to confirm that the lump they removed on Friday is, like we thought, nothing. That call did not come. The nurse on the phone said, "You have breast cancer." I almost dropped my eggs. I have never felt more scared, and devastated in my life. Yesterday afternoon was a blur of tears and doctors telling me so much information I will never be able to remember. We left the dr's office numb and confused.
We left with more questions than we came with. Here's what we know: the lump they removed is ductal carcinoma, the most common form of breast cancer. We have no idea what stage or how far it's gotten, if any, because they have yet to test the lymph nodes (because we thought it was nothing). I will definitely need more surgery, whether it's a lumpectomy or a mastectomy and possibly chemo and/or radiation.
It didn't take us very long to decide that we wanted to be in St. Louis at a major breast center up there. So that is what today has been about. Setting up appointments and finding doctors and surgeons that will become our lifeline in the coming days and weeks. We are seeing a breast surgeon for a consultation on Friday morning. She will look at the slides from my biopsy, my ultrasounds, and mammogram, and possibly do more testing of her own. From that she will determine which surgery would be best. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we go forward. Believing that God will take care of me, and He will never give me more than I can handle. I am leaning on Him and trusting that everything will eventually be ok.
No food pics for yesterday because I didn't eat anything substantial. My nerves just wouldn't let me. I've had a little bite or two today, but not much. I know I have to be strong for myself and my kids so I will pick myself up and be strong. I did manage to muster a little normalcy today, I got on the treadmill and walked for 30 minutes! Walked! Can you believe it? Me either! Maybe tomorrow I will run!
I can’t believe it’s been two whole years since cancer came into our lives. We have come so far and learned so much since our journey began. Looking back, I can clearly see the truth in the phrase, “Everything is for our good, and for God’s glory.”
I can only give all thanks and praise to God for not only healing me, but for all the times when He has held my hand as we walked into a doctor’s office, or times he has carried me to a test when I was sure that my legs would not go. There is absolutely NO WAY I could have done this without Him. I would probably have followed my first instinct and still been hiding in the woods if it weren’t for Him. The Lord is my Rock.
Love y’all too;-)
“Don’t be afraid, just believe.” Mark 5:36