Tuesday, June 7, 2011

A Mood Changer

I’m not really sure what I want to write about this morning.  I’m a little out of my usual routine this week.  Never mind adjusting to the kids’ new summertime schedule [RE: no schedule], but right about now is when I would normally be going out for a run. 

But not this week, though.

I’m taking this week off because after my run outside on Saturday morning, my right leg has been acting up.  Not really like the shin splints, though, it’s different.  And I don’t like it.

Dear Legs,

Please quit being ornery and heal up quickly.  I don’t know why you are insisting on giving me fits now, but I’d really appreciate it if you would straighten up and act right.  I’m sorry to say, but much of my sanity comes from the pounding I give you every day.  I appreciate the miles you have carried me, so I will try really hard to be patient this week and give you the rest that you need.  But just a heads up: we have
Komen Race for the Cure on Saturday Winking smile 

With Much Love & Appreciation,
Erica

I am in a bit of a funk as you can tell.  And it’s not really all about running or not running…but more of an “I don’t know my body anymore” kind of thing.  I am learning that the menopausal 33-year old body is quite a mystery, with not much out there when I’m searching for information or whatever.  I know that so many changes take place when a woman goes through menopause and I am kind of in unchartered waters here.  I can talk to my mom or ask other women about their menopause symptoms and how they handled it, but –let’s be honest- I’m a good 20+ years younger here with completely different circumstances.

I used to know exactly how my body operated and what it needed to function at it’s best but this is a whole new world, people!  I have aches and pains where there were none before, I have put on weight in places where I never used to gain [stomach??], my moods go from hot to cold, and I can’t stay focused on the littlest things.  And the hot flashes and night sweats go without saying.  I’m not meaning to be a complainer, but sometimes it’s just necessary. 

Clearly, not being able to get my daily sweat on is not helping here!  I don’t know if I’ve said this before [hello, forgetfulness], but running is just about the only time I feel physically normal.  “Normal” meaning pre-cancer.  It is something I did before, continued during treatment, and something I do now.  So I guess when my one physical outlet gives me issues, everything else is exacerbated. 

But can I be honest here?  I think God just tapped me on the shoulder and told me something very important that I needed to hear:

My Child, I will never leave you or forsake you.  I was the same before cancer, during treatment, and am still the same God this very day, and will be tomorrow.  Remember my promises to you, and have faith that while everything else may change, I remain the same.

Whoa.  That’s not exactly where I thought this post was going, but Thank You, Lord, for the fresh perspective, and Your beautiful words that spoke right to my soul.  What a great way to start my day!

Maybe this post wasn’t such a downer after all!

Love to you today.  Count your blessings.

xoxo     

0 comments: