Cloudy Turned Bright, Sunny!

Today I woke up with feelings of uncertainty and dread. Tyler started a course of antibiotics last night for a sinus infection and actually felt worse this morning, and I was nervous. I never want any of my babies to be sick, but with me going into chemo tomorrow, this could possibly be the worst time! So I let Michelle check him out this morning, and luckily, it is still just a sinus infection, the antibiotics just haven't had a chance to start working yet. I was so relieved! Not that he was sick, but that it was still the something simple she thought yesterday. I hate the idea of leaving town, even for 24 hrs. with one of kids not feeling perfect...I think that's what bothered me the most this morning, was that I may have to leave this afternoon with him feeling worse. But, since then, he has had ibuprofen and eaten breakfast and said he's feeling a little better. Work, antibiotics, work! Or should I say, Work, Jesus, Work! Heal my big little boy so Mama can go start to get better without worrying that he needs her. (Although, we know a boy ALWAYS needs his mama!)

After that, I was feeling MUCH better! Enjoying the beautiful day, SO LOVING my new haircut and back to smiling! :-) Once we got back home, I did my Week 4 Day 3 homework in my Bible study. I am always uplifted when I dive into His Word; it seems no matter what the lesson may be about, it always seems to speak to just me. Like it was tailor made for me...duh, it totally is! teehee! Today's lesson was about Noah and how he had faith and stepped out in that faith despite the evilness, taunts, and jeers he heard from humanity around him. He was faithful to God, and God rewarded him. Praise God! Praise Him for the endless promises His word hold for us! You know, though, when I was reading Genesis 6 about Noah I couldn't help but keep picturing the movie "Evan Almighty!" Maybe because it was just on the other day and I watched it...twice. But how God kept trying to tell Evan what He wanted but Evan just didn't get it...his alarm clock kept going off at 6:14 am when it was set for a different time, his new congressional license plate was GEN 614, and even someone calling his office with a baby announcement said the baby weighed 6lbs. 14 oz. God was trying to get His attention, Evan just didn't get it! I am so thankful that God is relentless on us when He wants something from us, which is always! He NEVER gives up. Never tires of telling us again, and again, and AGAIN. He is constantly showing us how much He loves us and wants to be close to us, NO MATTER what we have done or how we have lived! He just wants to be close to us! It is like a parents' love times infinity! How awesome is that??! God is so good! Thankful doesn't even begin to describe how I feel! Praise God that He never gives up on us!

From Psalm 91:
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.
11 For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
14 "Because He loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

Another Pic!

My phone is slowly cooperating...here is another pic of my haircut!

A New Me!

What a difference a haircut can make! I feel F.A.N.T.A.S.T.I.C! Actually, strangely, I feel grown up! 13 years of marriage and 3 kids and I get a new haircut and feel grown up! LOL! I can't believe I didn't do it before! Now I'm kinda mad that it's gonna fall out! Ha! Hey, but at least at this short length, it won't take as long to grow back out to here. Lacey did such a great job cutting it and Michelle and my mom were sitting there going, "Why didn't you cut it sooner??" But it was such fun! All the kids took a turn cutting a big chunk of hair off...they really enjoyed that! There was so much hair on the floor! Wow, I bet I lost weight, seriously. And I can feel the wind on my neck...cool!
Check out all that hair! Geez!!


Today was SUCH a busy day! I had all three kids in PB...dentist for me, orthodontist for Tyler, and an eye exam for Zachary. Katie was just along for the ride. Thrown into our to-do list, was new jeans for Zachary, prescriptions to pick up, and a Walmart list a mile long. I was so glad when Tyler said he didn't have to be back by 3 for practice. I could've made it, but it would have been pushing it! But we had a good day. It was very normal...which was very nice.

I was running this morning, listening to some praise and worship music, trucking along, when a song from my childhood popped into my head. It was a song that we always sang at revival when David and Geneva Bentley would come to our church once a year. It went,





"The Lord has not given us a spirit of fear. The Lord has not given us a spirit of fear. The Lord has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and a sound mind."


As soon as I finished 4 miles, I hopped off and googled it (!), so I could see where it came from...it's 2 Timothy 1:7. Thank goodness for internet access! Ha! Anyway, it is perfect of course, as any thing in God's Word is, and spoke to me, as anything in God's Word does, if you listen to it. That anxiety I'm feeling about diagnosis or treatment is not what God wants for me, it is the devil that gives us fear. God gives is FAITH! And faith is much stronger than fear, anyday! Praise God for that! Praise God that we can count on Him because He is with us always!



More and better pics tomorrow...my phone is being cantankerous tonight!

Another Trip Up North

Another day, another trip to St. Louis! I probably shouldn't say that yet because, as we found out for sure today, we will be going EVERY SINGLE DAY WEEKDAY for 6 weeks come spring! But, except for the cost of gas, it will be ok. It will fly by, I'm sure! It's only 6 weeks. So yeah, we really liked the radiation oncologist we met today. She was so nice! And if I had to wish for one thing (besides being uber-smart, of course!) is that he/she is warm and fuzzy nice. I dunno. It's just my personality-type! I NEED that! And she was totally warm and fuzzy nice! And, like I said, she recommended 6 weeks of M-F radiation following chemotherapy.

After that we went to the cardiac testing area for my echo cardiogram. They needed a baseline scan of my heart because the Herceptin that I will be taking for a year has a small chance of causing heart muscle damage. So now they will have something to compare future scans to, if they need it. I pray they won't. That was a fairy easy test, though. I laid on a bed in a dark room while they ultrasounded my chest. Man, am I tired of taking my shirt off! My poor hubby! The only time he has seen my chest lately is when they are testing or examining me for something! LOL! Probably tmi, but it had to be said! Haha!

After that, I made a short dash across campus to grab a Starbucks while he waited for our car at valet. Then we headed for home...well not home, Tyler's ballgame. We made it there at the beginning of the 2nd quarter. I think he was happy we made it. They lost but I'm really glad we were there. Zach and Katie were glad too! Katie especially. She has been a mama's girl lately, I think because of all the trips we have been making to drs and stuff, and that is completely unlike our normal routine. She is ALWAYS with me...my little sidekick. So tonight, my incision is feeling better and I think we are going to take the body pillow out from between us so we can snuggle! We always snuggle! Maybe I'm kinda excited, too! teehee

Tomorrow I am going to PB to get my teeth cleaned (have to do it before chemo starts) and take Tyler to the orthodontist for a check-up. We will probably make a Walmart run through the grocery aisles, and then hopefully have time to go to lunch somewhere other than a drive-through. Uck! I am so ready for Friday to get here...I guess so I can get my first-treatment jitters over with. And because the sooner we start the sooner we finish!

Ooh, and I may get my hair cut tomorrow evening! Short!! I'm kinda excited about it! Of course I'll post pics if I do it! Night!

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you." Matthew 6:33

"My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." Exodus 33:14

Working Monday

I am having a great Monday! I got up this morning and got my boys off to school, Katie was snuggled on the couch watching Dora, and I went downstairs to hop on the treadmill FOR A RUN!! I ran 3 miles before I needed a break! I stopped to turn on my praise and worship music and check on Katie then I hopped back on and ran another 1/2 mile, then walked a 1/2 mile. It.felt.amazing. 4 miles of mind/body/soul therapy! I did notice, however, that my incision, which is on the lower side, was a little more bruised afterwards this morning, but I guess that's ok. Probably just associated with the bouncing, even though I had two sports bras on. But I will be mindful to take it very slow and easy.

It is COLD here today! Now, I know I waited and waited for fall weather so I'm not going to complain, but today the temp at noon was 49! Geez! But it does feel nice. I have spent the majority of my day totally immersed in my week 4 Bible study. See, even my lunch was eaten at my dining room table with my computer! My, how I love Beth Moore! God is totally using her as a tool to reach women everywhere about faith, believing, and God's unfailing love. I am so thankful to be a child of God and so thankful that He is always there and that He loves me. I am so unworthy of His unfailing love, yet I know He doesn't see me that way and I am so thankful! Praise Jesus!

I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. (Psalm 16:8)

We have to go the STL tomorrow to meet with the Radiation Oncologist. It is a consult appointment and I'm assuming she will be going over with us the exact course of treatment for radiation when chemo ends. I also have to have a baseline echo cardiogram tomorrow. The Herceptin that I will be taking for a year has a small percent chance that it could damage the heart muscle or something...so Dr. P wanted to get a baseline echo in case we need to compare them later. Be in prayer that my heart won't be beating a million miles a minute while we do the test! Talk about a wacked out reading; they certainly won't be getting an accurate resting heart rate! Ha!

In just a few minutes, Katie and I will be making our daily trek to the school to pick up Zachary; Tyler has basketball practice today. We are getting our flu shots today, too. Ugh, that may ruin Katie's afternoon. Then it's haircuts for the boys...maybe me! I'm thinking about getting a lot of my hair cut this week. I thought I would go short (for me) this week, then very short next week. Kind of a gradual thing before I shave it. It's so long, and I've pretty much always had it long, so I'm actually kind of excited about cutting it. I'm so curious to see what I would look like with short hair! Now seems to be the perfect time to experiment! I don't know if I'll do it today, or just look at Lacey's books, but we'll see! Have a great rest of your afternoon, all!

God Bless!

Award Winning!

Thanks to the FABULOUS Julz from Simple and Divine, I have received my first blog award! Thanks, doll, for the shout-out!! Julz has been a sourch of booty-kicking inspiration ever since I was diagnosed with breast cancer in mid-September. I told her that I can tell when a message is from her before I even finish reading it because I'm ready to stand up and kickbox something before I'm even finished! And, that's exactly what I'm doing...kickboxing breast cancer into oblivion! So thank you, Julz, for my award and most of all for inspiring me to stand tall and proud and FIGHT LIKE A GIRL!! *fist bump & hugs*





I, in turn, am awarding 7 of my own favorite blogs...in no particular order. I hope you come to enjoy them as much as I have:

• Jenna (Eat, Live, Run)


• Sammie (Running with a Recipe)


• Melody (My FIGHT Against Breast Cancer)


• Linds (Life According to Mrs. LC)


• Sarah (See Sarah Eat)


• Bridget (food.fit.fun)


• Gina (The Fitnessista)

So congratulations all! And even more, thank you for being an inspiration to me in one way or another!

We are off to take the kids to see a movie today and eat some delicious mexican food, and check out the progress on our cabin! Yay for a beautiful day out! Hope ya'll have a blessed Sunday!

Celebrate!

MySpace Graphics

Praise Jesus! More good news! The dr called last night from STL to tell us that there was no residual cancer left in the tissue she removed on Wed.! She said that she had the path lab working overtime so she could get us the results by the weekend. And, yes, it TOTALLY MADE our weekend! So, with all the scans having come back clear on Tues. night and now last night's report, she said I am officially CANCER-FREE! Now it's just on to step two...taking my medicine (chemo and radiation) to ensure that any microscopic bits that may be floating around are also gone forever! Boy, it sure makes the whole chemo thing easier to take knowing that there is nothing else to fight! After she called last night, we went out to dinner to celebrate our good news. And I had the best night's sleep in probably a month!

There's not a whole lot going on today around here. It is going to be a beautiful day, mid-60s and sunny. Too bad I can't drive yet, or go for a run..ooohhhh that would hurt right now! Ha! Jack is going to work today because our trips to STL have put us a little behind so the kids and I will probably just chill here. My sister, Jessica, may come over today to hang out. I hope so!

I hope you all have as beautiful of a day as we are having here and are able to get out and enjoy it!

7 Days 'til Halloween

Guess what?? Only 7 more days until Halloween! Katie has been counting down for the past month! She is excited! She is going to be Supergirl this year. I'll admit, I kind of steered her that way to avoid going the "princess" route again. We've really worn out the whole Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Ariel, etc. costumes in the past years! So when we saw Supergirl, she liked it and so did I! Tyler has officially grown out of the whole dressing up thing. And Zachary kinda wants to, but kinda doesn't. He said he may just throw on something or other. Works for me! We don't really go all out for Halloween...it's all about the candy and trick-or-treating around here! Our church started a new tradition for Halloween called "Trunk or Treat" where groups of people from our church decorate their cars, or inside tables for inclement weather, and you can go around and get candy and a message from each group. It has become quite the outreach.

We have a population of less than 1,000 in our town, so it is kind of an intimate holiday. We take our kids to the same neighborhoods and peoples' houses that I went to as a kid...the older people "can't believe I have kids that are trick-or-treating!" and "I remember when you were that age!" We hear that a lot! Benefits of growing up in a small town, I guess.

My favorite Halloween benefit comes when the kids have gone through their candy and have went off to bed...because then I can go through it all, too, and pick out some of my favorites! Shhhh...teehee!

The weather is beautiful today! The kids are out of school for parent-teacher conferences and have spent the entire day outside playing with the puppies. They are pooped out! The puppies and the kids! Michelle's kids, Hailey and Spencer, are here today playing. They all just came inside, probably to gather more energy to take back outside to play football. They were teaching Rex and Riley to play this morning. It was too cute! Yellow little furballs rolling around over a football...lol!

There is nothing else going on today. I have all my laundry done, and the housecleaning that needs to be done I can't do just yet, like vacuuming, mopping, the kind of stuff that requires a lot of arm/core work. Because my core hurts! So, I am catching up on General Hospital today and curling up in a blanket by the fireplace, listening to my kids play. It's a nice way to spend the day, I think!

What A Day!

Me waiting in pre-op! Au-natural!
Kim and Jack waiting with me...doesn't he look excited?!

Me and Kim...1st post op pic!

WOW! What a day we had yesterday! As far as the pics, I hate that you can't wear make-up or contacts! Just a little mascara would've helped! Ha! So yesterday Kim and I went to the fitness room at the hotel and walked a couple of miles; I didn't want to overdo it, though because I couldn't eat or drink anything after midnight. So we did that and headed over to the medical center to get our surgery on! I was so excited when my surgeon came in and said that we could do it with a local and a MAC (monitored anesthesia care), which means the local area will be numbed up (obviously!) but the anesthesia consists of a "don't care shot" and light sedation, which doesn't require the tube down the throat, basically you are breathing on your own. You come of out of it faster, and greatly decrease your chance of sickness. Now that's what I'm talking about! But they did give me plenty of anti-nausea medication and I requested no morphine, because we're not actually sure which made me sick.

We did the procedure, everything went perfect, woke up great and was ready to go about 1 1/2-2 hrs. later. We were on our way home, in search of a Starbucks, and I thought my bra was too tight. So I had Kim loosen it and it still felt tight. As I felt my breast, it was hard and huge! We're talking like Girls Next Door huge! And standing up all perky! If it wasn't so painful, I would've told them to make the other side match! LOL! Anyway, I called them and they said to come back and let them take a look, some thing was not right. It really hurt by the time we got back, only about 15 mins. later. My surgeon was finishing up another procedure and so she came to take a look and apparently a blood vessel was bleeding under the skin. And building up, BIG! So unfortunately that meant another trip back to the OR. Ugh. So they restarted my iv, and we did the local again and she went in and cleaned it up. She said it was still bleeding a little so that was good, she could see exactly where it was coming from. She tied it off and waited awhile to check it all out, then reclosed the incision. That poor place on my boobie! It has been opened and reopened now 4 times! :-( After that she said we could stay or go home, it was up to us...of course we opted to come home! I'm so glad we did! Our kids were so glad to see us and we were SO GLAD to see them!! But even through the extra procedure, it was going to be hard to get me down after the fabulous news we had gotten the evening before!

When we get the path report for this procedure, it will hopefully show all clear margins and I will be cancer-free! All that would need to happen now is to take my medicine...chemo and radiation. I am over the moon excited about the clear scans and that my procedures are over! God is so good! He has had His hand on me throughout this whole ordeal, and I am praying that He will continue to guide us and watch over us. I hope you all are having a great Thursday!

"Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; His greatness no one can fathom." Psalm 145:3

God Is Good!

Hey all! I have very happy news to report from yesterday's testing. I had a bone scan and a ct scan to determine if the cancer has spread. As you probably guessed from the "happy news" part, they came back clean!!! Praise God! The dr called us last night to tell us the exciting news. I'm so glad he didn't wait! We had gone out to St. Louis Mills outlet mall to do some shopping and get away from the hospital setting when he called my hubby. I was getting ready to try on pants in the dressing room and I had to (after I called my mom and sisters of course!) get down on my knees in the dressing room in NikeTown and give pure thanks to God. I was praying for strength and strong faith that they would be clean and He answered prayer! After that, I was REALLY in the mood to shop...and eat ice cream! *lol* So after today's procedure, I should be cancer-free and ready to take my meds (chemo and radiation). But just knowing that there is nothing else to fight, is truly prayers answered. Thank you, God!

On a side note, interestingly, the only thing the bone scan showed was mild shin splints from my running. :-D

So I just wanted to get this quick post in to share my fabulous news! I am praying for an easy and quick procedure today and no anesthesia-sickness!! Hope ya'll have a great day!

"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15:57

Monday

Morning all! I had a great night's sleep last night! Probably the best without medication in awhile! Ha! My hubby, on the other hand, was up and down all night. I know I heard him shut off the alarm and go out to check on the puppies more than once! Making sure nothing was getting them I guess. ;-) I guess it was a good thing we got them both because they have been snuggled up in one little light yellow ball of fur every time we've checked on them. The kids were even up bright and early cleaning the pen area, changing the water, and getting them food...I wonder how long this will last??

I felt like I finally got back on my routine this morning. I walked/ran on the treadmill for 45 minutes this morning, 3 1/2 miles. Yay! I probably would have ran a little more, but I forgot to put on a second sports bra to minimize any bouncing; not that they are that big, but to keep my incisions from tugging! Lol! But it felt great, a little weird, but great. So now here I am, getting my blog on, watching The View as I type (I love Hot Topic days!), and getting ready to dive into my 3rd week of my Bible study that Jenna and I are doing together. I look forward to my "homework" every day...now that's a first!

As you can see, I dug into breakfast before I remembered to take a picture! I made myself a parfait this morning with mixed berries, vanilla Light & Fit yogurt, and sprinkled some Kashi Honey Almond Flax cereal on top (my favorite part).

My oncologist's office just called and set up my appointments for tomorrows scans; a bone scan and a CT scan. Then my clean-up procedure on Wednesday, which is same day...thank goodness! As long as they give me something to prevent me from getting anesthesia-sick I'm in good shape. Then they have scheduled my first chemo treatment for Friday, October 31. I'm a little bummed about it because we have "little" kids and Halloween is a big deal for them! I always take cupcakes and treats to the classes, and of course there is the trick-or-treating that evening. :-( But my appointment is at 10:30am and they said to allow about 5 hrs for my first treatment, because they have to keep me longer afterwards to watch for reactions to the medicines and stuff. So that puts it at 3:30pm before we can leave STL. And probably 7pm before we get home. Maybe we will have time to take them trick-or-treating when we get back. I hope so.

Well I'm going to get on with the day. Tyler has a ballgame tonight so it's another busy one around here! Hope you have a good Monday!