Today is a “special” day for me. Today, September 16, one year ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was reading my post from Sept. 17th of last year and it just brought back a flood of emotions. Here is that post:
I am completely rocked. From my head to my toes I could not be any more stunned. I had a great 8 mile run yesterday morning and was making my breakfast when I got the call. When the phone rang, I thought, "here's the call I've been waiting for!" The call to confirm that the lump they removed on Friday is, like we thought, nothing. That call did not come. The nurse on the phone said, "You have breast cancer." I almost dropped my eggs. I have never felt more scared, and devestated in my life. Yesterday afternoon was a blur of tears and doctors telling me so much information I will never be able to remember. We left the dr's office numb and confused.
We left with more questions than we came with. Here's what we know: the lump they removed is ductal carcinoma, the most common form of breast cancer. We have no idea what stage or how far it's gotten, if any, because they have yet to test the lymph nodes (because we thought it was nothing). I will definitely need more surgery, whether it's a lumpectomy or a mastectomy and possibly chemo and/or radiation.
It didn't take us very long to decide that we wanted to be in St. Louis at a major breast center up there. So that is what today has been about. Setting up appointments and finding doctors and surgeons that will become our lifeline in the coming days and weeks. We are seeing a breast surgeon for a consultation on Friday morning. She will look at the slides from my biopsy, my ultrasounds, and mammogram, and possibly do more testing of her own. From that she will determine which surgery would be best. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we go forward. Believing that God will take care of me, and He will never give me more than I can handle. I am leaning on Him and trusting that everything will eventually be ok.
No food pics for yesterday because I didn't eat anything substantial. My nerves just wouldn't let me. I've had a little bite or two today, but not much. I know I have to be strong for myself and my kids so I will pick myself up and be strong. I did manage to muster a little normalcy today, I got on the treadmill and walked for 30 minutes! Walked! Can you believe it? Me either! Maybe tomorrow I will run!
As I was re-reading this I remember how absolutely shocked I was at the diagnosis, how scared I felt for my family, how rocked to core I was. But I also remember the absolute rock-solid belief I had that God was going to take care of me. And boy, has He delivered!! Not only did He show His supreme grace through my physical healing, but also by reaffirming His hold on my life, and my heart.
I have said before that on September 16, 2008 I buried my head in God’s robe and hid there under His protection. It is only recently that I have started to peek out and see that the battle is almost over. My year of treatment is almost done and PRAISE GOD, it has flown by so fast!
I will never forget the outpouring of support that I had on my blog last year, I have read all the comments at different times throughout the last year, and they have helped give me strength and courage. Thank you for all your prayers and your love. If I could hug each of you personally, I would! (((hugs)))
Love Y’all! xoxo
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11