Sunday, June 28, 2009

Not Quite Myself

What a week, ya'll! Sorry it's been a WEEK since my last post...geez. Not much has gone on other than I am on a serious search for my hormones. OMGoodness...no hot flashes or night sweats, yet. BUT, some serious "downtime" and for a bright-side optimistic kind of girl, it's no fun. It all started with a few tears over a commercial, then into concerns about some shortness of breath and a dry cough that I've seemed to develop, and finally into anxiety and fears about a recurrence of my breast cancer. SERIOUSLY!

What is the DEAL?!

This is SO not me!! I have to keep reminding myself that the hormones are no good for me and I am doing by body so good by getting rid of them, but now I need an antidepressant! Running has been my saving grace...I am always in a good mood after I run, but I can't run all day long. But my morning endorphins have been nice. Um, back to the cough...thanks to my friend Tiffany who is going through the same thing, I think I may have figured out my problem. Radiation pneumonitis is common for those who have had radiation to the chest area...symptoms are shortness of breath and a dry cough. So when I called my dr, they agreed that it did sound like that's what it was, but ordered a chest xray to be sure. Michelle did one on Friday and there was a cloudy area in my right lung, so it's the right side for the radiation exposure. Of course in my frame of mind, I asked her if it was lung cancer...to which she responded, "uh, no." She said it just looks like the radiation exposure inflammation. Of course a radiologist will read it this week and they will send the results to Michelle and to my dr. I am praying that it's nothing else. My mind is just working overtime right now...

I have prayed every day for God to take all this anxiety that's building in me right now. I DO trust Him, completely; I DO surrender my fears and worries to Him every day. I'm just waiting patiently for His strength and peace to fall all over me.

This week He timed a perfect devotion just for me: It was titled "Why Worry?" It says that if you find yourself struggling to let go of worry, try praying Scripture daily that reminds you that God is truly sovereign. He is the One who is ultimately in control our safety and well being. Psalm 91:1-2 says, "The one who lives under the protection of the Most High dwells in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, 'My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.' "

I hope you have a blessed Sunday! Here's to a brighter day!! :-)

3 comments:

The Wasson's said...

Hey Erica! Hang in there and know that I am thinking about you in the coming week. I understand your anxiety but you have to believe that you are completly healed! Keep me posted!

Healthnutcutie said...

Hi Erica!! Big hugs coming from Arizona! Prayers for peace, rest and strength!! I sure hope I can come to love running as much as you do- sounds like such a healthy stress reliever!!

Caitlin at Healthy Tipping Point said...

thank you for your kind and very motivating words on my blog. and best of luck on your half mary!